How Self Awareness and Reflection can lead to a shift in perspective and behavior.
"When you truly know yourself, only then can you be yourself." — Eileen Caddy.
Are you struggling with certain traits that leave you asking the Why questions? Do you feel overwhelmed by your actions most of the time?
Do you act impulsively without taking into account the consequences of your actions? Do you feel like everyone keeps saying stuff about you that may or may not be true?
If are you tired of yourself and want to feel better about making sound decisions then this article is for you.
Frankly, I can relate to the above because I have been in these situations for years but lately, I have found out that by self-reflecting I got to understand why I act the way I do, hence addressing the root of the problem.
Self-awareness and reflection can be powerful tools for personal growth and transformation. When you take the time to truly know and understand yourself, you can unlock the potential for a life-changing shift in perspective and behavior. it is essential to know yourself, like the writer of the quote above mentioned, it is only when you truly know yourself, that’s when you can truly be yourself.
What is self-awareness?
Self-awareness is the ability to be aware of and understand yourself, including your views, sentiments, motivations, strengths, and weaknesses. It’s a key ingredient of emotional intelligence.
On the other hand, Self-reflection is a process of reflecting and self-examination that’s closely related to self-awareness. It involves consciously and deliberately thinking about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts to gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your life.
Knowing yourself circles around your character, your responses to situations and people, and the good, bad, and ugly side of you. It also involves using the 5W's and H.
These include; The why question. Why do I react like this, when A or B does something? Why do I like cheese or bananas? The why helps you address why particular issues get to you or why they interest you.
The When, Where, and What questions help define the root reasons why you behave the way you do. When gives you an advantage as to when someone or something might have pushed or created a memory. Where speaks on how location can affect you and what drives you, it questions how circumstances might have created an awareness inside of you. They all point to the root causes of things.
Finally the How? How begs the question as to what degree someone, something, or an experience might have affected you and in turn affected your actions.
For years, when I had a conversation with someone, especially a heated one I would drift into another topic, I would move on to bring up other issues that were not needed in that conversation and that would lead to a bigger issue and mess things up more than it already was. I didn’t know how to stay on topic, but I didn’t know how to self-regulate myself either when situations like that happened. When I eventually decided to sit and ask myself questions using the 5W’s and H seeking to be self-aware I knew doing the above was a bad trait and began working on it.
Every time I mess up, I remind myself that self-awareness is a process and not a destination, why? Because we keep learning, relearning, and growing every day.
You can’t conclude that you’ve gotten to that level of enlightenment yet because your stance can change when there’s the truth that confronts what you thought to be right and standard. This is why being open-minded when knowing yourself is important and why self-reflecting can help you grow too.
Now, let's look at some of the challenges of self-awareness and reflection and how they can lead to a shift in your behavior.
Firstly the difficulty of being honest and objective with oneself without bias.
Truth be told I think objectively assessing yourself can be quite challenging especially if you don’t keep an open mind and keep saying this can’t be me, I am not what they are saying, etc. When you throw honesty out the window, you will find it hard to reflect on your core self and keep repeating the same mistake. Another issue that blocks one’s mind when one gets here is pride. Pride can make you biased and not objective when self-reflecting.
Secondly, finding the time and space for reflection can prove a challenge. To become self-aware and reflect, you need a serene environment, free of noise, which enables focus.
The third is the struggle to overcome negative thought patterns or biases. There are many of us on this table, I have been here, and believe it when I say it is not easy defeating negative thought patterns that stay rent-free in your mind for years. It takes practical steps, prayers, and intentionality to break free from these patterns as they hinder self-awareness and reflection
And finally, the fear of facing uncomfortable truths or painful memories. Every one of us is haunted by things we have done or currently doing that are painful or we aren't proud of. It could also be something that was said or done to us that has caused a sore in our hearts and created a sad memory bank in our minds. These memories and truths can be roadblocks to searching within to reflect on ourselves.
You may be asking, how then can we overcome these challenges and push ourselves to become self-aware and use the power of reflection to cause a shift in our perspective and behavior? This takes me to the next point.
What are the tools you can use to overcome these challenges?
* Journaling: Keeping a journal has been my go-to for some time now. Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you track progress and relieve you from making decisions impulsively. It is a miracle wonder to the mind.
* Communicate to others: Talking to a trusted friend or therapist can help you become more aware and reflect on whatever situation you may be dealing with. You will be surprised how much a friend knows about you, and your blind spot than you do.
* Get creative: find a creative outlet where you can visit to self-reflect and not let go of your hobby. Whatever it is that you like to do in your fun spare time, do well to engage it from time to time. For me, I like to read, listen to a song, or take a stroll down the street in the evenings. These calm and help me reflect on my day, creating an awareness of self which has led to a change in my perspective and behavior towards others.
- Goal Setting: it is important to set small, achievable, and specific goals for self-reflection. This will help you keep track of your progress over time. For example, you can choose to do a 30-minute review of one or two aspects of your life daily. Reflecting using the 5W’s and H.
The aim is to set goals that will make your self-awareness and reflection journey easy.
- Be patient and compassionate with yourself. You are still growing, and learning and there’s room for improvement. It’s okay to feel bad if there are days you don’t do well. But don’t stay there, move on and seek to be better.
What are the benefits of self-awareness and reflection that can lead to a shift in perspective and behavior?
* Firstly, you gain clarity and insight into your thoughts, feelings, and motivations. Using the 5Ws and H discussed above you can identify and tell what your feelings are per time.
* Secondly, It can help you identify patterns and make connections that you might not have noticed before. When you self-reflect, your mind opens up to possibilities about yourself that you didn’t know existed.
* Finally, you understand yourself better, which leads to improved self-acceptance and self-compassion. helping you make more informed and intentional choices in your life.
You should also know that with self-awareness and reflection progress is the goal and not perfection. Don't go with the mindset that I got to be perfect in this, it doesn't work like that. It's a continuous learning process, as you drop something off and pick some good and helpful stuff on your way.
I hope this will help you make more informed decisions and also lead to a shift in your perspective and behavior.
What self-awareness tools have you used in the past and how did it work for you?
Please share your experiences in the comment section, would love to learn from you.
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